Swimming, walking, eating. Buses, ancient ruins, sunset. Too much sun; bought a cap but too little too late. Stars.
Big day out in the sun. Left the apartment with no plan, everything left to chance, which was fun and successful. Coffee and shopping then hopped on a bus across the island. Walked around the caldera from Fira to Oia. Endless whitewashed apartments and hotels and sun loungers and pools, but very few people. Steep cliffs, lava gravel, succulent plants, kestrels, martins, swifts, donkeys, yachts.
The horizon is dotted with islands. Mist blurs line between sea and sky. No clouds except over distant mountains. Constant pleasant breeze disguises how much sun is beating down on you.
Obliged the guidebooks and had dinner watching the sunset at Oia, despite it getting frankly too cold. Buses back to Kamari, crammed with tourists.
Arrived in Santorini from London. Time for dinner and little else. We're two minutes away from the fish-filled sea.
Flew from Lisbon to London for a one night stopover. Off to Santorini tomorrow. Been listening to the Odyssey again in preparation.
Read some interesting stuff on the plane about the 'need for achievement'.
- Those with high N-Ach tend to choose moderately difficult tasks, feeling that they are challenging, but within reach.
- Their most satisfying reward is the recognition of their achievements
- When people who need and require the necessary attention for their efforts to be recognized by someone who is in an influential position to them; if they do not receive the satisfaction or recognition, they may become dissatisfied and frustrated with their work or position.
- Achievement is more important than material or financial reward.
- Achieving the aim or task gives greater personal satisfaction than receiving praise or recognition.
- Financial reward is regarded as a measurement of success, not an end in itself.
I have an unflattering risk-aversion and fear of uncertainty. I go to great lengths to make sure that I always know what is going on and where I am. I'm currently carrying around two phones and a laptop; between them I have two entire copies of wikipedia and offline maps of where I am. I'm never cut off from knowledge and if I anticipate that I'm going to be in a novel situation I research it extensively to remove as many elements of uncertainty as I can.
In many ways this tendency does actually make my life significantly easier, but it also means that my expectations are constantly being met. I usually have a fairly accurate idea of what it is I'm going to see and how I'll react to it. This is a recipe for becoming jaded.
"A constant air of refined, supercilious ennui"Leo Tolstoy, Youth
Today, however, I experienced for the first time in months the pure, simple and overwhelming feeling of wonder, childlike enjoyment and excitement of something new and unexpected. I was in the faerie-world gardens of the Quinta da Regaleira in Sintra. I came upon a cave tunnel hidden behind some fountain or grotto, partially lit and going off in to darkness. I went right on ahead into the darkness, with no idea of where I would end up, or how long it would take me to get out. I found a waterfall in an opening and pressed on through the dark, damp, dripping corridor (resisting the temptation to turn on my phone's torch) until I came out at what I thought was ground level (having neither ascended nor descended). But instead, I was taken completely by surprise and found myself at the bottom of a great cylinder of dark stone, dripping water from the circle of white light at the top, far overhead. I had walked straight into the hillside and now the ground was way above me. Here I was at the bottom of a great well, with a stone staircase spiralling through the rock to the ground above. Uncanny, unsettling, sinister and sublime. How wonderful to meet the unexpected! To have no prior knowledge or hopes or mental pictures and to find yourself somewhere wholly new.
Now I've described it, and now you've read it, you can't have the same experience.
The feeling lasted only a few minutes, and those few minutes of true, unpremeditated joy were precious, and I knew it. No sooner did I feel it than I thought about it, and began to analyse it and so destroy it. Further attempts to be awed and wondered by the other delights of the garden were unsuccessful imitations, unsuccessful because of my consciousness of my own desire to feel and react in a certain predetermined way.
I dashed this off on the train to Lisbon, and subsequently missed my stop. My mind was occupied by the pretty girl opposite me, who also missed the stop.
A wonderful day out. Visited the Calouste Galbenkian Museum, which has an astonishingly good collection. Extremely high quality works from around the world, from ancient Egypt to Turner. Felt very at home. Loved the architecture and the gardens. Gardens! At last, green, growing, life! And some sun and the last of Tolstoy's Youth.
Rainy morning, did some work and read a little. Café and more wandering in the afternoon. Want more green spaces or acxess to the sea. Not enough trees for my liking!
Enjoyed watching Mary Beard's episode about what it meant to be a Roman citizen.
Despite moping around for hours with nothing particular to do I've run out of time for drawing again. Twenty minute miserable scrawl with the ballpoint, too tired to bother.
More cafés and more walking. Went to the National Museum of Ancient Art, but the main highlight mainly for me was not their collection but sitting in their quiet, sunny garden and reading Tolstoy's Youth.
Stopped in a bar on the way home and did some more eye studies.