Day 0054

I have felt very fatigued today, despite (or more probably, because of) staying in bed till mid-afternoon. Warmth and ease and the Stendhal audiobook have been so seductive that I had to actively drag myself out of the house to try to make the most of being in this city. Privilege is a burden! Guilt of squandering a good thing. When I lived in London I wouldn't think twice about spending the whole day at home, but when I'm here ostensibly to enrich my soul (and paying for it) I feel I can't be as lazy as I am naturally inclined to be.

Even so I left the Louvre earlier than I intended because I felt like I was going through the motions of looking at the art rather than really responding to it and enjoying it like usual. Part of the problem no doubt is that I can't throw myself into enjoying anything fully at the moment because I feel a constant nagging guilt about the weight of work that I should have done but just can't force myself to start. It's pathological!

Finished off the charcoal study.