Day 0147

Feverish night, strange dream-hallucinations. Windy road up mountain, drawn in scribble, many different difficult paths, long slog but knew I'd get there in the end.

Didn't leave the house. Lovely hotel owner popped by to give me pills.

Indulged in a day of internet browsing. Very relaxing. Read blogs. So many people like me. Lots of young men with drive, ambition, anxiety. Dissatisfaction, panic, uncertainty, narcissism. Similar constellations of interests; coding, psychology, philosophy, travel.

Again the feeling of replaceability, interchangeability, of not being individuals but part of a wider inevitability. No matter how out-there, innovative, independent you are, there are, or will be, hundreds just like you.