Day 0191

Putting together the order of service for grandma's funeral has made her death very real. I'm sad that people who enter my life from now on will never meet her. I'm sad that if I ever have children she will never hold them. I'm sad that for the vicar, the undertakers, the florist, the death is one of innumerable others, to be endured and forgotten.

Managed to do very little today other than prepare some pages of a sketchbook with silverpoint ground and gouache.

Cut sweet peas perfume night air whilst drawing.