Day 0257

Have lost a lot of discipline in my drawing. Just can't seem to get this copy right. The more I look at the original the more sophisticated I see it is. Eve's expression, the way she is clearly offering (not just holding) the apple, the way she is looking at it. Incredibly skilful. I wish I could come close; I can't even make a passable copy let alone create something comparable from scratch.

Resent that because of the need to work to make money my brain is constantly being wired with knowledge and skills I don't value, but other people do. I want to be a master at drawing, not at the crap I do to earn money, which I scorn wholeheartedly. Currently spend not much more than an hour on art a day, and many times that on work. I can feel it creeping into me and occupying space I want to reserve for being me.