Day 0459

Spent the morning deciding whether to go back to the UK or extend my stay. Exhausted a surprising amount of energy making a decision; I really suffer under any kind of cognitive load. Elected at last to stay.

Went out for another turn in the cemetery (pros: no people playing ball games, no loud music, everyone is quiet), saw Proust's grave. Busied myself on non-painting related tasks to decompress from it all. Worn out from being limbo about so many things: waiting to hear back about job applications, about where I am wanted in the UK and when for family stuff, about whether I should book a non-refundable cheaper ticket or not... a corrosive stream of toxic trivial crap that eats away at my ability to get anything done.

Trying to get myself to stick to one thing is like trying to channel a waterfall through a hosepipe. It's driving me mad!